This is beyond a belated conversation for me to claim and only because now it's beyond me, it's now affecting my child. Heads up before you read this post that I am going to be sharing personal experiences that only ask you to always have a curious and questioning mind rather than assuming there is only one route.
The topic of this blog will talk about the ping pong between allopathic medication and self-care, it will lay its hat on the conditions of Anxiety and Asthma.
I'm fresh out of A&E, fresh is an optimistic description perhaps reflective is a better word to use to describe where I'm at right now here at the keyboard keys. Going into hospitals revisits a time for me personally where I became part of the fabric of many hospital wards as an unwell child and occasional unwell adult. I've spent many months in hospital with one child who now rarely has an appointment let alone a hospital visit. So, when I return to the medical setting it is nostalgic for me, memories and flashbacks beam into my present. I enter this blog with understanding and compassion but today I wonder whether my voice will burst out of my body in front of people but I reach for my therapy - writing, as it's much safer here.
You know that moment when you have so much to say, the moment is here but you just don't know where to start.
So, Im going to pause...
Anxiety Prescription
Rather than start at the beginning I'd like to begin with the most current experience and then I'll set the foundation out below and that's because the health of your mind is the biggest priority you should ever have.
We've travelled like so many, a long journey in the mental health system, 3 years this month to be precise, alongside one of our children, guiding her through a system while guiding her as a parent. We have travelled to the rock bottoms, and the rises of blossoming beautiful breakthroughs, steps up, down, sideways, straight lines, wiggly lines - an adventure through life.
We tried hard to navigate this anxiety-fuelled path with everything natural and instinctual but there came a time as many people will face with any condition, a time, of decision-making. To try allopathic medication. There's an unknown, there may be as in our case a time when we had to consider it more deeply. We surrendered 2 years in to the mental health journey for our child, and with our child's agreement too. We all agreed 1) it was worth a try if it could bring about a 'break' in intensity to be able to work towards the long-term. 2) a short term approach for the long-term gain and that we could have both allopathic and herbal medicine and self-care work side by side to nurture the whole self. The first medication Fluoxetine brought about intense hallucinations and so an alternative in Sertraline was sought. Did it work, yes, but it needed the holistic approach yet, we started the journey on therapy waitlists so it relied on us to provide the whole-self approach. Her Dad and I are gifted with wellbeing careers so we were able to nurture this space to the best of our ability. This medication for our child is a specialist medication that she requires in a liquid format due to a fear around swallowing, a prescription that has been fulfilled by the same pharmacy for months, and we've had some close calls with gaps in the medication (something that is not recommended with this medication) but none so much as the one we are working with now. A 5-day break without warning! In addition, to not having sudden breaks it is also recommended to gradually reduce over time, neither option was available to our child as our pharmacy admitted to not checking their emails for such prescription requests that come directly from CAMHS.
What did we do? Well first we faced the pharmacy simply saying they hadn't received it (when actually they had), a phone call to CAMHS led to them calling the pharmacy, and the pharmacy calling us back to admit their failing. We are then given the '2-5' day delivery time of the medication into the pharmacy phrasing which is not specific enough so I ask for a more accurate response. On the evening of day 3 our daughter has a strong panic attack with intense anxiety and so I call 111, I'm directed to another pharmacy who have the same 2-5 day response and encourage us to go to A&E for the best possible progress. This in and of itself is adding to the anxiety load but they need to see her and gain her permission for me to act on her behalf. A year ago she wouldn't of even got in the car but on this night she did, she faced one of her biggest fears head on. Walking through the doors of the A&E department has aromas that signal her worst fears, people are coughing, all seats are filled but the receptionist clocks the care she needs and puts us in a private room, triage are there within 10 minutes, then to wait again but she could not wait she burst out of the room, she had to leave, she ran away on the anxiety-adrenalin. I get her safely to the car while I return, am met with the doctor who organises a prescription to collect the next morning. Our daughter sobs with all sorts of feelings, when we get home, showered away the experience she is candid in her words 'I've no anxiety left in me' she reached a peak, a peak she thought she couldn't navigate, but she did, a sense of pride was beaming gently out of her. Last night she regulated herself, she rested, and awakes less fearful. I'm straight to the pharmacy after the school runs ready for this to be all resolved. But, yes you guessed it, those words 'it'll be 2-5 days'. I inhale and exhale, I accept, I surrender, we will walk that natural path solely again. I tell her we will get through this day together, it's now day 4 after 3 doses a day of California Poppy tincture. I could end my words here and allow you to explore your thoughts about this. From our stance we now have a decision to make do we continue the break with natural approaches or do we start back with Sertraline, still with a view to safely reduce over time? The ultimate decision lies with our daughter, a lesson in intuition, what's right for her.
The Foundation: My Asthma Journey
I was diagnosed with Asthma at 4 years of age and my mother recalls the times she was told that I could either have a few years suffering or a few extra on steroids. She chose the latter. Zoom ahead to my twenties where I was Asthma attack and medicine free for 7 years, I'd completed the London Triathlon to the flabbergasted looks on my parents faces. I had experienced an intense stage of stress, which triggers inflammation, and for me it heads to my weakness; my lungs. None of my inhalers are in date. I reach out to my GP practice, who say I have to have an appointment before they can issue a new prescription. They offer me one in 2 weeks! I'm stunned, speechless. I just about get through the day but late at night I call an ambulance, I'm alone at this point and felt deeply scared. I'm given a nebuliser which gets me back in a calm space and I have an emergency appointment first thing. Surprisingly I'm not met with any empathy, instead the GP is frustrated at me for not being able to speak clearly. Anyone with a breathing condition will know it's hard to talk. I'd even written things down as I was struggling but still it would not do, he was cross that I didn't have any inhalers in date! He's forgotten the 7 'well' years I've had. He finally decides to put me on a nebuliser in a separate room, with the door wedged open with a book while he carries on with his clinic. An ambulance had also been called thank goodness as when they located me (this was hard for them to do as the receptionist was not aware of me) they realised I'd been been given a child's dose, they rectified it immediately then took me into hospital. I made a slow recovery, then over time it was like it hadn't happened it was like I didn't have Asthma again. It was 3 years before I had another Asthma attack. I had learned so many ways to self-care with Echinacea, Frankincense, and Tea Tree, along with meditation. 3 years later my flare up saw me in A&E again, and just as well I'd learned to meditate as it was 3 hours before I was seen. I just about made the walk to the consultation room when called and all I could say was that I was more ill than I looked. I'd reached such a calm state that my breathing was calm but peak flows showed very little capacity, plus, I was clearly wheezing. Psychologically, I had decided that it was not Asthma that was going to take my life away. While one minute I can be running around a field as a football coach the next I can barely walk from one room to another without running out of breath. I believe in finding a balance between allopathic and herbal. Still to this day not one doctor nor Asthma nurse has ever been interested in how I manage my Asthma for such long periods of time without inhalers and steroids, all they say is that I should stay on regular medication 'just in case'. At 45 years old the side effects of such medication are harder to tolerate for bone health, gut microbiome, and throat health so I choose to be intuitive and manage my symptoms on the whole, naturally. Every few years I have blips but I now manage those better too as I have a better system in place.
The truth is nature will always hold the remedy as it treats you as a whole person. I take ownership of this choice as protocols are never written with the individual in mind. You know you, whatever the diagnosis, tune in and find the balance that works for you.
